1. All persons have someone good.
2. If the person does not have anyone there for a reason.
3. The cat is a more special person, the more it’s far from you.
4. The way a person loves is inversely proportional to how much you love her.
5. Money can not buy love, but you put in a position where you can negotiate.
6. The best things in the world are free … and worth every penny.
7. Any good you do, the reaction will be not so good.
8. Decent people remain last in all.
9. If it seems too good to be true, then not so e.
10. Availability is a function of time. At the same time you are interested in a person, she finds someone else.
11. Nothing improves with age.
12. Gender does not contain calories.
13. Gender occupy the least of time, but causes a lot of problems.
14. There is no remedy for sex, even more than sex.
15. Sex is like snow: I never know how many inches will be and how long it takes.
16. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
17. Virginity can be cured.
18. When a woman comes to understand man, it usually does not listen.
19. Do not you ever sleep with anyone crazier than you.
20. The same qualities that attract men to one woman began, after a few years can no longer tolerate.
21. Sex is \ “dirty \” only if it is done right.
22. There is always the wrong time of month.
23. The best way to know a man is in your arms.
24. When the lights, all women are beautiful.
25. Sex is hereditary. If your parents had no part, chances are high you do not have any.
26. Saturday – Sow. Sunday – Pray that you will not crop out.
27. The more young / a, the better.
28. Before you find the charming prince must kiss many brat.
29. Maybe some things are better or worse than sex. But one’s not like sex.
30. Love your neighbor. But do not be caught.
31. Love is a hole in your heart.
32. Love is a chemical problem. Sex is a physical problem.
33. Do it with the / the best / good.
34. You can make a baby in a month if you leave the new pregnant women.
35. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
36. It’s better to have loved and lost than not loved before.
37. You shall not commit adultery! … unless you want.
38. Do not sleep with a woman who has more problems than you.
39. A woman not forget that the men would have had, a man – the women would not have had.
40. No matter the length of the stick magic, but magic in it.
41. Never say no.
42. A man can be happy with any woman as long as no love.
43. Smile! That makes people wonder what you think!
44. It makes you know you can not resist.
45. There is no difference between a wise and a fool when they are in love.
46. Never sleep if you’re nervous. Stay awake and fight all the way up.
47. Love is the illusion that a woman is different than the other.
48. \ “I was gonna hurt … I promise! \”
49. One was / a husband / wife will always be \ “until death do you apart \”.
50. When a man wants a woman to listen to him, she did not listen. When he did not want her to hear, she’s all ears.
51. It’s always easier to find someone if you already have someone.
52. Love and high school must not be mixed.
53. Show me a husband who does not want, and I show you a neighbor who does.
54. No matter how good it was, if you wake up with remorse, that means it was bad.
55. The more you will meet the wrong guy for you.
56. Do not you ever trust a woman who is pulling you in bed as if you can resist.
57. No one is so special as I thought.
58. If you think a relationship can work, but feel the need to try, it will not work. Moral: You have to tell that did not work because you never really believed in it.
59. During a relationship with someone is inversely proportional to how important is the person for you.
60. Key to inside the heart of a woman is an unexpected but when unexpected.
61. Two things a man can not understand: Women and how to turn men into fools because of women.
62. Love makes us believe. Conclusion: Love fool reason.
63. When you have someone to attract women. When you’re single, you avoid like the plague women.
64. When you’re with friends, you always have gas.
Archive for the ‘Fun’ Category
50 reasons why it s great to be male
Wednesday, October 14th, 2009
Law student
Wednesday, October 14th, 2009
- Always is right … even if it is given.
- Do not copy never … consult.
- Do not sleep during the time … reflects.
- Do not talk … change impressions.
- Do not divert their attention … studying anatomy flies.
- No chiuleste … required elsewhere.
- There remains corigent … is left corigent.
- Do not smoke … it stimulates.
- Do not swear … to download.
- Do not insult the teachers … it reminds me what I am.
- Do not read magazines in class … it informs.
- Not destroying school … a decoreza.
- Do not throw chalk … studying the laws of gravity.
- I laugh in hours … is Happy!
You re drunk when
Wednesday, October 14th, 2009
1. You talk as inconsistent with the objects around and more and lose.
2. You must know the asphalt to not fall on the sidewalk.
3. Supplemental prevent you drinking enough.
4. Your doctor to find blood alcohol analysis.
5. The toilet seat is hit repeatedly and bitterly of your head.
6. You get to think that alcohol is one of the groups of food.
7. 24 hours a day, 24 beers in a box – coincidence? ‘S do you!
8. Two hands and just one mouth – that even as a problem with booze.
9. See if you know a better eye closed.
10. Damn parking has moved further away as you were in the pub.
11. Fall off the floor.
12. On the boys call him Tuborg and Heineken.
13. Hey, you know what, go thither by a dinner, 5 beers are as a steak with fries.
14. Mosquitoes start to fly elsewhere after you nteapa you.
15. You wake up in the bedroom, panties are in the bathroom, sleep dressed …
16. All pub welcome when you come inside.
17. You think the four food groups are Caffeine, nicotine, alcohol and women.
18. Neighbor’s cat becomes more appetizing, every day.
19. Zoe Petre look good.
20. Do not recognize wife unless you look at it through a glass bottom.
21. Beast that the elefantel pink and you followed pin home.
Spam
Wednesday, October 14th, 2009
Maybe I will get suspicious messages on yahoo messenger and beyond.
Messages like:
1) Please carefully read this message carefully … that was sent by Yahoo president Jay Rusell … here is the president Jay Rusell: Sorry to be anuntz Yahoo reached maximum no. Of persons . If you want to keep your account for free send this message to everyone in your list. In this way we know they are used and which not, we will remove them. Send this message for 8 days and your account will remain free. Again I’m sincerely sorry I had to do it. Please begin to send!! Who does not send the message, his account will be deleted. vrajeala IS NOT EVEN DELETE ACCOUNTS!! (is also on the net …. Mass) ”
How to get Yahoo to the maximum number of Persia and really think if something happens with an international company, you would have heard from the president through Yahoo messenger? It would show just the first page of giant Yahoo if it would happen.
2) “I’m sorry to announce that on yahoo xx.xx.2006 Inbox limit will increase to 2 GB. If you want to get more space in the inbox to send this message to all the list”
3) “We’re a family desperate and made a deal with Yahoo and AOL to give us 0.05 cents for each person who will see this message. If you want to help us send this message out here swear you have a heart good! ”
There are many messages like that and people forward the message or out of ignorance or because they do not know that they are some jokes, pranks.
Be you smart! Do not put in mind of those who sent you these things. Not have to think this way: So what forward – however I do not happen to me.
Joke: Oh and now that you do not forget -> Send this link on to everyone in your list of Messenger or your hands will fall and you will remain constipated for 3 months.
Yahoo! Closes or “How to be overly stupid in three easy steps.
“A girl very small (tiny even) of 83 years of Yugospania urgently needs tranplant nail. Unghiera Yahoo will donate one volunteers if you send this message to all the crap from your list (to be sure that it I forward). If you do not send, head of Yahoo takes his toys and puts p *! the business who bring in millions of dollars and will close (as it wants it.) Moreover, if not I will send one to start crying and give me the ass of the earth, and to pray to a God-lady might get hurt bad in the next 60-70 years. And if not now not believe me, means that baaaa heart you did what you nail Throating!: ( ”
You seem familiar? Let’s take one at a time:
1. Every day hundreds of children dying all over the globe, and if those from Yahoo! would launch a campaign to help them, be sure that one will be through the main page (as they did and when CEREA Kathrin Donations for hurricane victims or those of Asian earthquake in December 2004) which has “only” about 3,400,000,000 (yes, three billion) visits per day. There must be a doctor in quantum physics to realize that you should have 6.8 million friends with many people to list 50 to reach the same number of hits. Per day.
2. Yahoo! Inc., A company founded 11 years ago, is quoted on the New York Stock Exchange and Nasdaq and had over 3,500 employees since October 2002. Offer their services totaling more than 35 translated into 15 languages and used by over 411 million unique users each month. Among other things, recently signed a contract with Microsoft, which wants to connect users on Yahoo! Messenger with people on MSN Messenger. So have every reason to close, right?
3. Do not know about you, but the only real bad thing that happened-it myself because I have not given the message further, was to give the idiots who keep sending me messages of this kind. It dropped my nose, not my eyes burst and I did not shit on me (which really would be bad bad!). If you send “to be”, I have words to explain how stupid you are and I suggest to you format c:
4. For the record, ProTV presented (recently) in one of their broadcasts news report about a mass / chain messages. I have to play in short: Uncle X sends a message about girls apparently dying all knowledge of his list.
They in turn forward and creates a list of email addresses that some people sell them (yes, make money with you) some companies begin to send you advertisements in the mail (unsolicited of course) and just kind of crap – until cucumber cucumber. So if you have nothing better to do every day just to delete emails, continue to send messages idiot. You do your work and I get you out of the list and give you ignore.
5. If not used to send mass messages, make an exception this time and even if used to send mass messages would be nice of you to have it last.
If I offended you somehow, good. It means that you feel and my message came to who should.
3d animals funny
Wednesday, October 7th, 2009
Hi,
Found these great pictures. I would really like to know who made them. He’s really talented.
Seduction tips
Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009
Zodiac signs seduction tips. How to seduce zodiac signs. How to attract the person you desire.
How to seduce an Aries man
The type of woman who can attract an Aries man is one that demonstrates a sense of independence and is bold, adventurous, or spontaneous. They’ll respect the freedom of a woman like this. They admire strength and courage. Aries men enjoy a challenge, and may find it enjoyable to be seduced by an assertive woman, while offering sufficient resistance to make it interesting.
How to seduce a Taurus man
Taurus man prefers a woman who is cute, cuddly, calm and comfortable, and shows affection with caresses and kisses. They prefer women who are easy-going, earthy and sensuous, and not too independent or energetic.
How to seduce a Gemini men
Gemini men are attracted to women who are clever and changeable and can keep them guessing. They can be drawn to average looking women who are witty and interesting, and certainly more than to the beautiful but dull sort.
How to seduce a Pisces woman
The Pisces woman is after a man who is romantic, sensitive and either an imaginative dreamer or just lost and confused. The idea of a secret love affair can excite and entice her, and mystery intrigues her.
How to seduce a Leo man
The type of woman who attracts the Leo man is one that they can feel proud to be seen with — one who makes them look good just by having her on his arm. A woman who is gorgeous or dramatic or regal or aloof turns them on.
How to seduce a Virgo man
The type of woman who attracts the Virgo man in search of company always appears well groomed and conservatively dressed — and, above all, has an air of propriety. They are very particular, and desire nothing short of perfection in their potential mates, which can leave them out in the cold more often than not.
How to seduce a Libra man
The type of woman who attracts the Libra man has lots of class but isn’t too formal at the wrong times. She can be sort of sophisticated but not terribly stuck-up, sort of picky but not too particular, or any one of a number of contradicting categories, as long as she is utterly sincere in her attentions and has no hidden agendas for the relationship.
How to seduce a Sagittarius man
Sagittarius men like the type of woman who is honest, direct, and reliable — basically a lover who is also a friend. They like a woman who’s playful one minute, and philosophical the next, but always happy.
How to seduce a Cancer man
The type of woman who attracts a Cancer man is one who will comfort and care for them. A woman who feeds a Cancer man and makes him feel loved may soon see them sharing her home, since home is where they most want to feel wanted and cherished and comforted.
How to seduce a Capricorn man
The type of woman who attracts a Capricorn man is socially acceptable and somewhat formal or aloof — not to mention quite serious about success and status.
How to seduce a Scorpio man
The type of woman who attracts the emotionally volatile Scorpio man is very vital, passionate, and intense. They rend to go for dynamic and powerful types of women who aren’t indecisive, weak willed pushovers.
How to seduce an Aquarius man
The type of woman who attracts an Aquarius man is intelligent, independent, free spirited, and a good conversationalist. Should she keep him guessing, or be a bit unconventional, she’ll fascinate him, but if she’s too emotional, he’ll pass.
How to seduce a Pisces man
The type of woman who attracts the withdrawn Pisces man is romantic and emotional, sensitive and passive. Should she be intriguing or mysterious or able to make him feel secure, she could be just the one for him. Pisces men are fond of secret love affairs, as well as people who need help or emotional support.
How to seduce an Aries woman
The type of man who attracts an Aries woman is brash and bold, daring and direct, and has a sense of adventure. They are drawn to macho types or men in uniform. They seek competition and challenges, so they prefer authoritative men who are hard to get. Aries women are attracted to winners, in sports or business or any form of competition.
How to seduce a Taurus woman
The type of man who attracts a Taurus woman is the classic strong and silent type. Men who are down-to-earth appeal to her, and it may be important to her that he likes animals or nature in general. A man who can cook, cuddle, and care for her physical comforts is of great interest to her.
How to seduce Gemini woman
The right man for the Gemini woman is clever and changeable, and a great conversationalist. Communication is very important to her, so the man who can share information and ideas is sure to be well regarded.
How to seduce a Cancer woman
The right man for the Cancer woman is protective, security-conscious, sensitive, and understanding. If she finds that he makes her feel safe and secure, she’ll feel herself drawn to him.
How to seduce a Leo woman
The right man for the job of taming the Leo lioness is one who radiates warmth and shows his affection in a physical way. They are even more interested if he happens to be rich or famous or powerful or gorgeous (or all of the above) so that she can share the spotlight with her new love.
How to seduce a Virgo woman
The type of man who attracts the Virgo woman is intelligent, impeccably mannered and groomed, practical, and reliable. Neatness and cleanliness are the single most important factors here for the approval of a Virgo lady.
How to seduce a Libra woman
The type of man who attracts a Libra woman is charming, polite, and well dressed — it also helps if he’s good looking, romantic, and a bit old-fashioned as well. They tend to respond to mental and verbal flirtations more so than the crude physical kinds.
How to seduce a Scorpio woman
Scorpio women prefer a man who appears intense or inscrutable, and has a kind of magnetic charisma about him that hints at smoldering sexuality and unexplored depths of unbridled passion.
How to seduce a Sagittarius woman
The man who attracts a Sagittarius woman is one who displays high moral and ethical standards, and lives up to their ideals of honesty and integrity. They want honesty, friendship, and fun from a potential mate.
How to seduce a Capricorn woman
Capricorn women are after a man who seems serious, aloof, and detached, and somehow projects an inscrutable personal aura. They want a man who’s ambitious and socially acceptable, and they are drawn to money, status, and power.
How to seduce an Aquarius woman
The type of man who attracts the Aquarius woman is intellectually interesting, logical, open-minded, and willing to experiment. A man with ideas and insights fascinates them to no end. Aquarius women are even more attracted if he seems unconventional or unpredictable or just unusual in some way.
Love letter
Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009
This is a modern love letter:
Dearest Samantha,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since Tuesday, the 17th of August 2007.
With reference to the meeting held between us on the 17th of August 2001 at 1500 hours, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of no less than three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.
Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous relationship training and relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be canceled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Thanking you in anticipation.
Yours sincerely, Peter
A woman was telling her friend, “It is I who made my husband a millionaire.” The friend asked, “And what was he before you married him?” The woman replied, “A multi-millionaire.”
Insulting love
Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009
Insulting men
If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
There is no vaccine against stupidity.
I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!
I’d like to leave you with one thought, but I’m not sure you have anywhere to put it!
I’d love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
I’d like to see things from your point of view but I can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass.
He’s not stupid; he’s possessed by a retarded ghost.
He is the kind of a man that you could use as a blueprint to build an idiot.
If you were my dog, I’d shave your butt and teach you to walk backwards.
You’ve got an IQ of 2. Pitty it takes 3 to grunt.
Insulting women
Keep talking, someday you’ll say something intelligent.
I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.
I’ll never forget the first time we met – although I’ll keep trying.
Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege.
Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
Your so narrow minded when you walk your earings knock together.
Your lucky to be born beautiful, unlike me, who was born to be a big liar.
Before you came along we were hungry. Now we are fed up.
Someone said that you are not fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up for the pigs.
You have a lot of well-wishers. They would all like to throw you down one.
Love program failure
Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, and installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
Bad girls
Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009
Good girls say “thanks for a wonderful dinner”…
Bad girls say, “what’s for breakfast?”
Good girls never go after another girl’s man…
Bad girls go after him AND his brother.
Good girls wear white cotton panties…
Bad girls don’t wear any.
Good girls wax their floors…
Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
Good girls loosen a few buttons when it’s hot…
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.
Good girls make chicken for dinner…
Bad girls make reservations.
Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies…
Bad girls know they could do better.
Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss…
Bad girls never do either, unless he’s very, very rich.
Good girls believe you’re not fully dressed without a strand of pearls…
Bad girls believe that you are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls.
Good girls love Italian food…
Bad girls love Italian waiters.
